Action Comics #664, April 1991
Like many young lads and lasses, I went through a dinosaur phase. Growing up, my entire bedroom was practically nothing but dinosaur books, figures and an inflatable quetzalcoatlus hanging from my ceiling (yes, I had to google it's name because I forgot what it was called). At the time I knew all their names *and* Latin meanings, I wore dinosaur Converse sneakers and I still draw dinosaurs for fun on a regular basis to this day. When rifling through the dollar bin, I of course pause if a particular cover catches my eye, and there's nothing more eye-catching than Superman in the jaws of an irate Allosaurus. Shut up and take my four quarters!
This issue entitled "Many Year Ago..." is apparently phase five of a larger storyline called "Time And Time Again" running though the Superman titles. I don't know how many issues this story lasted, nor do I care. This one has the purty dinosaurs in it, and that's enough. We're starting in the middle.
We begin with our unconscious hero hurtling though the sky and crash landing on prehistoric earth. He's awakened by a dinosaur sniffing at him, and upon rousing, Superman immediately identifies it as a dromiceiomimus. Hold up, what? You're woken up in a foreign, ancient, mystery world by a creature never before seen by human eyes, and you without hesitation know it's the most obscure dinosaur ever? I've never even heard of a damn dromiceiomimus before this, and I wore dinosaur sneakers in elementary school. He also spots a brachiosaurus (ah, there's an easier one), and realizes he's likely in the late Jurassic or early Cretaceous period. Fun fact: This comic came out two years before the Jurassic Park film and subsequent dinosaur craze, so kudos for being ahead of the curve.
We then cut to a few quick snippets of what's going on in present day with Jimmy Olsen, Lois Lane, etc. but honestly, who cares? We have to get back to prehistoric earth as quickly as possible to witness Superman doing this:
Yup. A macho, bearded man of steel strutting around the Jurassic era singing the 1988 Was (Not Was) novelty tuner "Walk the Dinosaur". Name a more iconic moment in comics. I'll wait. It seems he's also named his cuddly dromiceiomimus pal "Drom". They're having a grand time apple picking when a human voice is heard screaming for help. Somehow, there's another human nearby being attacked by an allosaurus. Superman rescues him by throwing himself into the carnivore's chomping maw, effectively breaking most of his teeth. Also very likely casting an eventual death sentence on the beast, as allosaurus don't want to be fed, they want to hunt. But I digress.
Turns out the person in distress is Chronos, a time travelling villain of the Atom, who is ALSO coincidentally stranded back in time. He's understandably happy to see Superman, who can help power some doohickey he made to send them back to present day. Though, in a good line, Supes thinks "I still don't trust you and far than I can throw you. That would be quite a distance, though, come to think of it". Chronos, being a dick, is only looking out for himself and when he hooks up Superman to his machine he tells him he's the only one jumping through time, in pain and fury, Superman uses his heat vision to destroy Chronos' machine. The resulting explosion hurls Superman further in time, but leaves Chronos there. Serves you right, dick.
When Superman comes to, he finds himself hoisted in the trunk of a woolly mammoth, much like Stampy the elephant did to Bart Simpson. Do elephants actually do this? I'm too lazy to look it up. Supes realizes he's been shot forward to the Pleistocene era, and needs to find another explosion to make him time jump again, because he's deduced that's how it works. In a deus ex machina that's so weird I read it twice and still don't understand it, Superman realized there's an advanced race of humanoids living on earth in this period who he's encountered before. They're about to have a mass exodus from the planet in their ships and Superman purposely gets caught in the blast, shooting him forward in time once again. He's next in a fairly normal looking forest, and hears the sounds of hoof beats and riders.
It turns out he's in Camelot! But seeing as how it's the last page of the issue, we won't be going there. It is a silly place (sorry). Will he get eventually get back home? Of course he will. Superman, like life, ah, finds a way. Until next time, catch you by the spinner rack!
